Few expressions are capable of meaning one thing as well as its opposite. Such is the case with “I got shit to do”. The difference in meaning can be conveyed through emphasis. Saying “I got shit to do” means
I have many things to do
Whereas “I got shit to do”, spoken with an upward inflection on [...]
Words I Love
The Reasons —
Category Archives: The Reasons
I Got Shit To Do
Vag
Why didn’t I think of this?
More importantly, why did nobody think of this sooner? Surely this abridged version of “vagina” has been around for years, but somehow I’ve only been hearing it in the last year or two. Where has it been all my life?
“Vag” is a slightly derogatory term for the vagina, used as [...]
Vagina
I’m a man who loves vagina. But I also love the WORD “vagina”. Not because it’s beautiful, but because it’s so horribly ugly. It’s cumbersome and unbalanced. And best of all, it completely takes all the fun out of the organ that is the vagina. It turns it into a medical thing, not a sensitive [...]
Feckless
Dictionary.com gives two definitions of “feckless”:
ineffective; incompetent; futile: feckless attempts to repair the plumbing.
having no sense of responsibility; indifferent; lazy.
I’m more interested in the second definition, because I like CALLING someone feckless, especially to their face. It’s an insult! It’s like calling someone a child, except using a word a feckless person wouldn’t [...]
Festooned
A festoon is a festive ornament. So to be “festooned” means to be decorated in festive ornaments. A festoon used to be a specific kind of ornament, in which flowers, foliage, and fruit were fastened to and suspended by long ribbons. It has now come to mean any type of celebratory ornamentation.
Considering how our calendar [...]
Supernumerary
If I met the man who invented this word, I would give him a kiss and then suck his balls dry. And I’m not even remotely gay. If the inventor is actually a woman things could get messy and we might even spawn a whole new strain of venereal disease.
Every single time I see the [...]
Flex
I love the word “flex” because I repurposed it.
For years I have been plagued with a problem: I have several good friends who used to be lovers. But when referring to them, it always felt wrong to call them “ex-girlfriends”. The implication of the term is that this is a person with whom you have [...]
Aubergine
I hate “aubergine” when it’s used to describe an eggplant. But I love it when it’s used to describe a color! Vegetables, to me, are not royal. They are humble, and should be spoken of with humble words, such as eggplant. Peasants eat eggplants. And we are all peasants.
But color, on the other hand, is [...]
Coterie
The French know how to party, or possibly how to enslave people. If you ever wanted solid evidence look at the following words, all from French or Old French:
escort
entourage
attendants
retinue
cortege
A coterie is a “group of people who associates with one frequently”, and is my favorite, although “cortege” nearly meets it for Most Pompous Word Ever. All [...]
Chyme
“Chyme” is cool in two directions. First is its spelling and pronunciation. “Chyme” is pronounced like “kime”. The hard “K” sound of “ch” is fucking cool. To pronounce that “ch” like “K” makes it sound serious. This is a word not to be fucked with. Same goes for “cholera” and “chable char”. The hard “ch” [...]