I’m a man who loves vagina. But I also love the WORD “vagina”. Not because it’s beautiful, but because it’s so horribly ugly. It’s cumbersome and unbalanced. And best of all, it completely takes all the fun out of the organ that is the vagina. It turns it into a medical thing, not a sensitive [...]
Words I Love
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Feckless
Dictionary.com gives two definitions of “feckless”: ineffective; incompetent; futile: feckless attempts to repair the plumbing. having no sense of responsibility; indifferent; lazy. I’m more interested in the second definition, because I like CALLING someone feckless, especially to their face. It’s an insult! It’s like calling someone a child, except using a word a feckless person [...]
Festooned
A festoon is a festive ornament. So to be “festooned” means to be decorated in festive ornaments. A festoon used to be a specific kind of ornament, in which flowers, foliage, and fruit were fastened to and suspended by long ribbons. It has now come to mean any type of celebratory ornamentation. Considering how our [...]
Supernumerary
If I met the man who invented this word, I would give him a kiss and then suck his balls dry. And I’m not even remotely gay. If the inventor is actually a woman things could get messy and we might even spawn a whole new strain of venereal disease. Every single time I see [...]
Flex
I love the word “flex” because I repurposed it. For years I have been plagued with a problem: I have several good friends who used to be lovers. But when referring to them, it always felt wrong to call them “ex-girlfriends”. The implication of the term is that this is a person with whom you [...]
Aubergine
I hate “aubergine” when it’s used to describe an eggplant. But I love it when it’s used to describe a color! Vegetables, to me, are not royal. They are humble, and should be spoken of with humble words, such as eggplant. Peasants eat eggplants. And we are all peasants. Except me. Which is why I [...]
Coterie
The French know how to party, or possibly how to enslave people. If you ever wanted solid evidence look at the following words, all from French or Old French: escort entourage attendants retinue cortege A coterie is a “group of people who associates with one frequently”, and is my favorite of the lot, although “cortege” [...]
Chyme
“Chyme” is cool in two directions. First is its spelling and pronunciation. “Chyme” is pronounced like “kime”. The hard “K” sound of “ch” is fucking cool. To pronounce that “ch” like “K” makes it sound serious. This is a word not to be fucked with. Same goes for “cholera” and “chable char”. The hard “ch” [...]
Bass (The Sound and the Fish)
By a simple shift in pronunciation, from the AH to the AY, you get a wild shift in meaning. “Bass” the sound (or the instrument) sounds like what it is; and “bass” the fish is such a simple-sounding word, how could it be anything but a fish? And because the meanings are so different, it’s [...]
Soggy, Loathsome, and Detestable
Individually, these words are nothing special. But combined in this way, they are a powerful force. Loathsome and detestable have similar meanings, but this expression is describing something SO loathsome and SO detestable that you must double up. As if being loathsome and detestable aren’t bad enough, this thing is also soggy. Being moist is [...]
