For stupid men and women who are afraid of their own vaginas, “menses” is the medical term used to describe the vaginal discharge from menstruation (answers.com calls it “blood and cellular debris” while dictionary.com calls it “blood and mucosal tissue”, but it’s also medically correct to just call it “pussy goo”). And if you think that’s gross then get lost. I didn’t ask you to EAT it, just enjoy the word. Grow up!
I found this word relatively recently, in fact I went looking for it, and was so pleased I did. It is such a nice word, when you consider how much people seek to avoid talking about menses, hearing about menses, or looking at menses, and now, probably, reading about menses.
I also love menses because it is underutilized, but could be very useful:
- “Hey! Wipe off your damn menses when you’re done with the stationary bikes!”
- “This isn’t hamburger! It’s beef menses!”
- “You really should have said something, dear. Now I have all this menses in my beard, and I have a job interview in twenty minutes! What will I tell them? Oh, sorry about my beard, it’s only menses. I’m not a cannibal or anything.”
- “I love you so much, babe, I would eat your menses.”
- other gross things
If you just cannot bring yourself to say “menses”, you can also say “catamenia.” But people might think you’re talking about this, and that could make for a much stranger conversation.
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