Ersatz

The ugly duckling that grew up to be a beautiful word. It’s hard to say, it’s ugly to look at, and anyone who uses it is instantly declared a pretentious cock. And such a useful word for pretentious, ivory tower cocks such as myself! It just floats off the tip of the tongue like a bratwurst drowning in sauerkraut.

For you uneducated people who don’t even know what it means, here is the definition (scoffs):

adj. — serving as a substitute; synthetic;

For example–to use a situation people like YOU might be familiar with–if you were to stack all the empty Natural Ice bottles in your dorm room, and then sit on them to watch an episode of whatever braindead car chase reality show is popular on television these days, you would be sitting on an ersatz chair.

Or say you have sex with a girl who is too drunk to refuse your advances. This is what you and your frat boy friends call ersatz consent. Then when the university looks the other way and let’s you off with a warning, while the young lady you had your way with is forced to transfer to another school out of public humiliation, that’s what we call ersatz justice.

Clear as day.

Comments 6

  1. Anna wrote:

    Rape jokes are never funny. Really. Never.

    Posted 24 Oct 2010 at 8:13 pm
  2. Christopher wrote:

    I agree, which is why it isn’t a joke ON rape, but a joke about those who think it’s not a big deal. Try reading it with a little more of a sarcastic tone and it will make sense.

    Posted 25 Oct 2010 at 1:56 am
  3. TC wrote:

    The first time I saw this word was in an ad in the back of a porno mag. “Keep it up all night! Herbal remedy for limp dick!” (Or something) In really small letters: *ersatz*

    So, reading porn expanded my vocabulary. But not my penis.

    Posted 25 Oct 2010 at 5:17 pm
  4. Anna wrote:

    Nope, still a rape joke, and still not funny.

    Posted 25 Oct 2010 at 10:26 pm
  5. Christopher wrote:

    Anna,

    I am sorry if you’re upset. Rape is tragedy. Tragedy surrounds us. We joke about tragedy.

    Out of curiosity, did you find yourself laughing at any of the times I joked about murder, or child abuse, or grandparent abuse, or animal abuse? I do it constantly.

    Posted 26 Oct 2010 at 2:18 am
  6. guest wrote:

    Some people are touchy about rape. Others, not so much.

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RapeAsComedy

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RapeIsFunnyWhenItIsMaleOnMale

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RapeIsOkWhenItIsFemaleOnMale

    Posted 17 Feb 2011 at 1:18 am

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