A caliper measures caliber. You just turn the ‘b’ upside-down and
dangle it over the edge. Eeeee!
I’m bringing buggery back in a big way!
It is understandable that this word has mostly vanished from our daily lexicon. There was a time when “buggery”, also known as The Black Anal Arts, was defined by English law as a sexual act against God, which was later refined to mean anal sex with a man, woman, or animal. So as we westerners move closer to complete sexual
freedom, where I can finally gay marry my father, such a word comes away with a sort of stink on it, like it’s been thoroughly drenched in santorum.
But buggery is an entertaining word, and that’s why it should be kept around.
It also has a pretty cool history. Check this out, straight from Wikipedia:
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And besides, we need this word because it’s the only thing that rhymes with “skullduggery”.
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possessive without an apostrophe.
Gentle. Soft sounds.
Yeah! This is like heavy metal for words. This word sounds brutal, and it is
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terms so vague in its meaning that it can be applied seemingly anywhere.
This word is a total fucking clown. Look at all those silent consonants, just begging to confuse foreigners vainly attempting to understand this ridiculous language. It is pronounced “AP-uh-them” and is the preferred British English spelling to the more common apothegm, which isn’t at all common, except in GRE study guides. In fact, it is possible this word was invented by ETS just to make sure you don’t get into Harvard.
An apophthegm is a short, witty saying. It comes from the Greek apophthengesthai, “to speak one’s opinion frankly” which is from the Greek phthengesthai which means “to speak”, which in turn is from the caveman phthgmsthgmithththph, which means “mountain bear ate heap many cavechildren today, Tonk must shag for survival of cavefamily”, the antecedent, of course, being the coelecanth pptplptltl, which has no direct English translation, although scholars believe it can be translated as “the actual sinking feeling you get when it dawns on you that you have tiny parasites living on your adipose lobe-fin right before your big fish date with the captain of the fishfootball team, but then you’re eaten by a shark so it doesn’t matter anyway”. Contrary to what you hear on the 24-hour news cycle, coelecanths have a very complex language.
Whoever invented this word, he didn’t do it extemporaneously, because this word is totally ridiculous and that’s why I love it. It’s too long, it’s cumbersome, too complicated, and when you use it you’re pretty much guaranteed to end all conversation. You may get your shins kicked and your throat slashed. But your options are limited if you want to describe an action as “spoken or performed without preparation”. There’s “ad hoc” and “impromptu”, but those words sound like they were built with matchsticks and rubber paste, and you can’t turn them into robust, meaty adverbs. And cousin “spontaneously” doesn’t have quite the same meaning. So if somebody says something extemporaneously, you have no choice but to form all seven syllables, turn your whole body into the point of an asshole, and say it in order to describe it. And now everybody hates you and you TOTALLY deserve it.
What really surprised me is that this word is OLD. A word that long and cumbersome surely was invented yesterday by some cheese-eating Frenchman in a turtleneck and tiny round spectacles, when in fact this word came straight to English from Medieval Latin, which got it from the Latin ex tempore. So the asshole pedigree has never been apart from this word since its
creation by Roman pedophiles in the year negative whatever.